Test · Relationships

Do I Love Him Quiz

Some feelings are hard to name from the inside. This quiz sets out five places a feeling toward him can stand and shows which one fits your answers today.

≈4 min Questions: 18

Two large black, white and tan dogs sitting side by side on a wooden porch beside a red geranium, with an apple tree and a garden behind them.

You know that feeling when you can’t tell whether what you feel for him is warmth, a crush or something deeper? This quiz doesn’t judge whether the feeling is right or wrong. It shows how it stands for you today. Choose the answer closest to you right now, without overthinking. It takes about four minutes, and at the end you see the state that leads in your answers, explained in plain words. Putting a name to a feeling is a quiet way to breathe out.

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Think of the last time being with him left you in a good mood. What was that mood really made of?
A friend asks what he is really like. What does your picture of him look like?
How much do you want to hear about the small, ordinary parts of his days?
Suppose someone else made you feel as good as time with him does. What happens to the feeling?
Set what you feel for him next to what you feel for your closest friends. How do the two compare?
Whatever name your connection with him has right now, how do you feel about it staying that way?
Was there ever a moment when you wondered whether this is something other than friendship?
Suppose he needed a hand on a day you had plans. Compared with what you'd do for a close friend, how much would you rearrange?
You're chatting with someone who has never met him, and he comes up. How do you describe him?
You know you'll be hearing from him or seeing him in an hour. How does the waiting feel inside?
A few days go by without any messages between you. What happens to your sense that you can count on him?
Think back to when the feeling was at its strongest. How does today compare?
An evening with him passes with nothing exciting in it: no news, no plans, no big laughs. How does the closeness hold up?
Some feelings have a calm, comfortable side and a charged, urgent side. How do those two look in yours?
Your mind drifts to a year from now, with no plan or goal behind it. Is he in the picture?
You and he have a small disagreement over something ordinary. What happens to your involvement afterward?
Your week is packed. How does making room for him work?
You're weighing a big decision about work or where to live, one that has nothing to do with him. Does he figure into your thinking?

Maryna Lyadneva psychologist

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How this test works

Where the questions come from, what the scale rests on, and why the result is not a diagnosis.

The test measures where the respondent's own feeling toward one person currently stands among five states: an attention-driven pull, liking, infatuation, dependable attachment and settled love.

Author Maryna Lyadneva

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Methodology

The test looks at one feeling from four angles. The first is direction: does the feeling reach forward, so that he is simply part of what lies ahead? The second is temperature: an early flush that is still growing, or a quieter bond that lasts? The third is kind: warmth like the regard between friends, as in the definition of a liking scale, or a romantic register, as in the definition of a love scale. The fourth is the target: him as a whole person, or the pleasant experience of being noticed.

The 18 questions were written for this test and describe everyday situations. Each has five answers, one per state, and the state gathering the most answers leads the result. If two are level, the more modest one is named. Every question concerns the reader's own thoughts, feelings and actions toward one person, and none concerns what he thinks or feels.

The test is a self-report, not a prediction, and a single pass is a snapshot rather than a lasting trait. It says nothing about another person's thoughts, feelings or likely reaction, and it does not assess compatibility, fate or how a relationship turns out. It is not a clinical or diagnostic tool and does not replace a specialist.

Questions

Is it love or just attachment and habit?

The test treats them as two states that can each be real, and your answers show which one leads today. Attachment is dependable closeness, calm and steady. Love, as the test uses the word, holds that closeness together with romance and a look ahead.

How do I know if I love him or if it's just a crush?

Love keeps the charge of a crush and adds a floor to stand on and a sense of where things are heading. A crush is the earlier state, lived in the present tense. Volume is a poor guide, since a crush can be very loud and love very quiet. The test shows which your answers lean toward today.

Do I like him or just the attention?

Either answer describes a real feeling. What tells them apart is where your thoughts go: to him as a whole person, with his flaws and ordinary days, or to the moment of being wanted. Being picked out feels good, and that glow can pass for affection for one person, which is why the test asks about it directly.

Can this test tell me why I feel this way about him?

No, and that is by design. It offers a position: where the feeling stands right now. Where it comes from is a story of history, mood and circumstance that a short questionnaire cannot reach.

What is the real difference between liking him and loving him?

Liking is enjoyment and ease, the warmth friendship runs on. Love is a different register with its own charge and its own reliance, which is why a very strong liking is still liking. The test looks at which register your answers fit.

Sources
  1. Rubin, Z. (1970). Measurement of romantic love. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 16(2), 265–273. doi:10.1037/h0029841
  2. Langeslag, S. J. E., Muris, P., & Franken, I. H. A. (2013). Measuring romantic love: Psychometric properties of the Infatuation and Attachment Scales. Journal of Sex Research, 50(8), 739–747. doi:10.1080/00224499.2012.714011
  3. Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93(2), 119–135. doi:10.1037/0033-295X.93.2.119
  4. Hatfield, E., & Sprecher, S. (1986). Measuring passionate love in intimate relationships. Journal of Adolescence, 9(4), 383–410. doi:10.1016/S0140-1971(86)80043-4